The work has not been graded but I like the output that was submitted to me. Is it possible for the same prof to do the next assignment I will be submitting? If possible, I will greatly appreciate it.
No one should feel scared to get close to the person they think affectionate towards, yet
domestic violence causes a rift in the family. It can happen to any person, men included.
There are underlying problems that make it reach the point of abuse, but most of the time
these problems are ignored, justified, denied or overlooked. Violence is not only physical and
emotional, but it can also occur psychologically too and can escalate to the point of the raging
war. In as much as it happens to those inside a relationship, the abuser can abuse the ones
close to the abused.
Physical abuse involves using force against someone in a way that threatens his or her safety.
Psychological, mental or emotional abuse occurs when the abuser subjects their partner to
behavior that may cause emotional disturbances as trauma, depression or even anxiety.
Verbal abuse also causes emotional scarring. Sexual abuse happens when one person
pressures another to sexual activity without their consent. This comes in the form of rape,
different types of inappropriate touching, suggestive talk, and restricting the use of protection
or family planning methods. Financial abuse is when a partner controls or micromanages the
other person’s pay slip or money. Though so thin, it can often go unnoticed. This can also
happen when a person tells another how to use the money, or how they can or cannot use it.
Stalking is also a form of abuse with someone following, harassing or watching another
making them feel scared or insecure (Peterman & Dixon, 39).
It does not choose, and it can happen in a same-sex couple or heterosexual ones, the young
or old, black or white and no matter the economic status. Though not acceptable in any way,
violence should not be a method used to make a point known. In research by authors
Williams and Frieze at an emergency hospital in Philadelphia, 12.6% of male patients were
victims of domestic abuse. It is taken that women being weaker than men are prone to get
abused as compared to their male counterparts, but that is not the case. In their research
21.6% were men, and 28.7% were women. Women, on the other hand, are arrested and
harshly treated by the justice system for incidences about domestic violence. This is because,
in their defenseless nature, they use weapons for protection, therefore causing injuries.
Children who grow up seeing their parents have a go at each other are a higher risk of
experimenting on such behavior with their partners. Financial reasons also cause domestic
violence and women, especially, stay in an abusive relationship due to the economic factor.
Also, that control that a partner might have on another may cause them to listen more to that
voice that they experience before an attack. Thoughts such as ‘How can (s)he think that way
of me?’ or ‘How can (s)he do that to me?’ or ‘Who do they think they are?’ It is that voice
makes them act destructively. Again, according to psychologist Robert Firestone, another
reason why domestic violence occurs is due to what he refers as ‘a fantasy bond.’ Such a
belief system that another person is responsible for your happiness despite the treatment
offered is more likely to cause suffering.
There are visible signs of a destructive relationship. Domestic violence takes many forms, but
the main aspects of making it feel like abuse are when one partner has to feel scared or
afraid, depressed, being belittled, making you feel guilty or useless, controlling behavior, not
being listened to, or the evident bashing and violence that occurs. I think that there is no need
to be in a relationship that keeps you on your toes, not knowing what results from your
actions, words or thoughts may bring.
To stop domestic violence, we need to understand what is its leading cause, what are the
signs and how it works. People need to know what triggers such events and try avoiding them
as much as possible. Also, people need to challenges themselves when it comes to negative
thought trends and patterns. This inner voice needs to be reasoned with so as not to feed these
aggressive manners. People need to take responsibility for their actions. This means knowing
and identifying stressful moments, and realizing that no matter how angry or furious I am
with my partner, these emotions cannot kill me. People also need to know the thin line
between the real and the anti-self. This means that they have a decision to make as to what
‘self’ they will listen to (Rollnick & Miller, 333)
So how then, do I keep myself safe? Whether male or female, identify if you are in
immediate danger. It may be hard to notice it immediately, but if certain trends make you feel
endangered. Then talk to someone or go somewhere safe. Though it may be hard to let go of
someone you deemed to be a partner, it is best to critically analyze the situation and
determine whether it is worth the abuse. If it goes unchecked, severe irreversible damages or
even death may occur. Get support from a trusted friend or counsellor, who will probably
give you certain perspectives unseen to you. In addition, for cases where stalkers are
involved, it is better to talk to the local authorities because it is within their jurisdiction and
they are there to help you. You need to know your rights, and in as much as a person tries to
belittle or make you feel bad or guilty, you need to believe in yourself. My reminder to
anyone in such a situation is, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
William, K., & Frieze, L. M. (2011). Domestic Violence: Responding to the Needs of
Patients. Nursing Standard, 25(26), 48-56
Peterman, L. M., & Dixon, C. G. (2001). Assessment and evaluation of men who batter
women. 857, Journal of Rehabilitation, 67(4), 38-42
Rollnick, S., & Miller, W. R. (1995). What is motivational interviewing? Behavioural and
Cognitive Psychotherapy, 23, 325-334.
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